Every year and every time when a new semester begins, I have these great anxiety and nervousness of whats possibilities lies ahead of me. Thinking about it makes me realize I'm not that confident as I thought I was. This aches me lot in times like this. Thinking of the qualities of my character that I possess and the qualities that I wish I have every time I see my idols and role models appear on television, it sparks up this driving force of desire inside me to never give up in building, developing and improve myself.
In some occasion I really hate one thing about myself! and it is that negative thinking circulating round and round inside my head. How I wish it would just disappear forever! Such negative thoughts are often the reasons for the frown appearance that you normally spot in public where people wear them on the facade, depression feelings or emo moments! Whenever I see how a child or someone, anybody that is younger than me that have achieved so much more than me, the negative feeling just makes me envy them! Whilst I really wish I could be happier for that person. However, the truth is I AM!
A show once taught me some noble values of how to able to love yourself! The saying metaphor goes like this: everyone in this world is a rice dumpling, behind them are the ingredient that is placed on them which defines what type of dumpling you are. They are ingredient of many shapes, sizes and colours, and of course the best to have is the purple plum. In the front, like as if we see in a mirror reflection of ourselves, we only able to see ourselves as a plain white rice dumpling. And because other people fillings are placed on their backs, we sometimes only notice the good qualities of other people and not see it in one self. This make us thinking that we are not as fortunate as others! Little did we know, the qualities that we envy the most is the very own quality that we already have on our backs! Its just... sometimes that it is hard for us to notice them!
This saying holds many insightful meaning to everyone, I hope. It teaches us to stay positive ad its pretty much the thing I really need at times of turning point like this. "A turn is not the end of a road, unless you fail to make a turn!" I really hope those people who is in the same situation like me are able to find something to love about yourself! All the admirable qualities are inside you and always will be, and that light inside you, it cannot be taken away by anyone!
May you blessed with infinite happiness :)
KH
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